By Eva Fougia
The following text is based on Eva Fougia’s introduction to the discussion “Tradwives – Right to Choose or an Attack on Women’s Rights?” held during the 33rd camp of Antinazi Zone / YRE (Youth Against Racism in Europe), the antifascist and antiracist campaign built around Xekinima (Greek section of ISp). The discussion was also introduced by Ioanna Koustolidou.We will publish their introductions too in the coming days.
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So-called “trad wives” (traditional wives) represent a contemporary trend that is heavily promoted on social media, primarily on TikTok and Instagram.
Their image is instantly recognizable and meticulously crafted. These are women who “choose” to stay at home, devote themselves to caring for their children and husbands, cook, clean, give up their careers, and live within the confines of traditional family roles. These women are always impeccably groomed, modest, smiling, often wearing 1950s-style dresses, with homes that are always tidy and smell of cake, where the “queen of the house” waits for her husband to return from work so she can serve him dinner.
Some of the best-known are:
• Nara Smith, a former model (known on TikTok for her videos in which she cooks while wearing dresses that look as if they were made for a beauty contest). She makes everything from scratch for her family. She has a characteristically calm demeanor and explains the recipe in a soft, sexy voice. In general, all “trad wives” make meals and desserts from scratch, without using pre-made ingredients, because “they care about their family’s health.”
• Hannah Neeleman (pseudonym Ballerina Farm), a ballet dancer. She gave up dancing to take care of her husband (who owns an airline company), her nine children, and an entire farm, while in her videos she always looks like a model.
• Alena Kate Pettitt. An author and blogger considered one of the pioneers of the movement who champions what she calls the traditional English way of life. As she herself claims, she gave up a career in the beauty industry -with its grueling pace and constant competition- for a peaceful “vintage” life (the term “vintage” sounds more appealing than “traditional”). According to Kate, women should be feminine, kind-hearted, and well-mannered.
• Estee Williams. She resembles Marilyn Monroe, explains that women suffer from burnout trying to juggle the dual roles of working woman and homemaker, and offers advice on how a woman can quit her job to become a traditional wife. It explains that “trad wives” support the biblical submission of women to men, without this implying that women are inferior, and that they have become a “trend” on social media because they serve as role models at a time when the line between the two genders and their roles has become blurred.
• Rebecca Jackson. An active influencer who combines traditional family life with household tips.
• Janie Ippolito & Eryn Carroll. They also feature similar content, focusing on religious faith, home organization, and motherhood.
“Soft Girls”
In Sweden, a country known for its progress on gender equality, young women are embracing a new trend on social media that glorifies quitting their jobs to live off their partners, who support them financially with a monthly allowance. Their look isn’t all that different from that of “trad wives.” They dress in skirts, dresses, and oversized sweatshirts in pastel colors, mainly pink and lilac. They wear bows and flowers in their hair, paired with sweet and romantic makeup. Their interests, aside from housework, of course, include skincare, the gym, and self-care, thus highlighting a “girly” and “romantic” lifestyle. They’ve been dubbed “soft girls.”
27-year-old Vilma Larson is one of the most prominent figures in this trend. She became well-known when she quit her job to become a modern-day housewife, and she says she has never been happier or more at peace, free from anxiety and work-related stress (she previously worked at a grocery store, a nursing home, and a factory). While her partner is at work, she goes to the gym, goes out for coffee, or cooks. In her videos, she offers advice on how a woman can ask her boyfriend for extra money when she needs it -in addition to the “allowance” he gives her- and how to save money if she spends less in a given month.
She shares her lifestyle on social media, where she has amassed 16,500 followers. Some of her posts have nearly 400,000 likes, although she says she doesn’t earn any income from her social media content. She uses the hashtags “hemmaflickvän” and “hemmafru” -which mean “stay-at-home girl” and “housewife,” respectively- and describes herself as a “soft girl,” an identity that embraces a gentler, more laid-back lifestyle rather than focusing on a career.
Other similar advocates include Lina Landss, Moa Mattson, and Alice Stenlof.
A survey of young Swedes showed that among those aged 15–24, the majority favored the “soft girls” lifestyle, with 14% of female students aged 7 to 14 identifying as “soft girls.”
Is it a “choice”?
In reality, this trend is far from innocent. And we cannot view it as “a choice.” It is a political tool that reproduces patriarchy in one of its most conservative forms and is ideologically fueled by the far right.
And it is no coincidence that the “tradwife” phenomenon is flourishing at a time when the far right and conservatism are on the rise among large segments of society.
This does not mean that all “tradwives” are far-right or consciously aim to strengthen the far right. Some certainly are. But even those who are not, unwittingly reinforce the far-right.
Internationally, the far right exploits this myth to bring traditional gender roles back into the spotlight, to foster the notion that a woman naturally belongs in the house, should not work -especially after giving birth (which is exclusively the man’s duty)- and that she feels happy and fulfilled only when she cares for her children, her husband, and her home.
They romanticize housework and childcare beyond all imagination (seriously, what woman with nine children can cook all day while also getting dressed and putting on makeup down to the last detail?).
They present economic dependence and submission as love.
Far-right political groups promote and cultivate these stereotypes because they aim to strip women of their rights to work and independence, to dismantle personal autonomy, since women will not work and therefore will have no income and will depend on the male head of the household. Under the guise of “tradition”, there is an attempt to return to a society that wants women to be silent, dependent, and politically inactive.
Nevertheless, because it is presented in a romanticized, idealized way -with colorful filters, a vintage aesthetic, and a romantic vibe- it can easily influence younger girls and women, thereby creating toxic role models, fostering the “dream” of not working and being away from home and their children all day, but instead staying confined at home to serve their husbands and children.
Under the guise of traditional values, the protection of the family, the cliché that a child wants only its mother, low birth rates, etc., a mindset is promoted that seeks to confine women to the private sphere, to exclude them from public life, politics, economic autonomy, and the right to make their own decisions about their lives.
200 years behind
Tradwives represent everything that women have fought so hard to shake off over the past 200 years! This image of the happy housewife -the idea that a woman finds fulfillment only through motherhood and caring for the home- is one that has historically been imposed on women, and which many generations have fought to overturn.
The “tradwife” movement ignores, circumvents, and denigrates 150 years of struggle for women’s emancipation, attempting once again to silence the women’s movement and relegate women to a subordinate role.
We cannot fail to mention the suffragettes in Britain who fought through demonstrations, hunger strikes, and imprisonment for the right to vote. During the same period, women in socialist and communist parties fought not only for women’s right to vote, but also equal pay, and demanded daycare centers and other social welfare services for working women.
In the U.S., women’s strikes in the textile mills in 1909 demanded better working conditions and an 8-hour workday. The struggles of working women in Europe were similar.
Women joined the resistance against fascism during World War II. They were part of the armed guerrilla movements and, at the same time, fought for freedom and social emancipation.
In the 1960s and 1970s, feminist movements succeeded in securing new rights through their struggles, such as access to contraception, abortion, and employment without discrimination.
We need to move forward
The answer is NOT to turn back, but to move forward, toward equality, collective liberation, and justice.
Toward a society in which women can make their own decisions about their lives and their bodies, a society where no woman -and no person- will have to choose between a career and a family (whatever form that may take).
Consequently, “trad wives” are not innocent symbols of domesticity and love. They are a powerful weapon of the far right and patriarchy -the crutches of capitalism- which seek to convince us to surrender the freedoms and rights we have won through struggle and bloodshed.
In the face of this romanticized prison, the answer is a collective one: feminism and class struggle for a world where no woman -and no person- will have to choose between her inherent rights and being confined to specific roles.
